Throughout history, when predators or other life-threatening situations occurred, our bodies needed a quick and effective way to respond. We saw this in the story of the cows and buffalo when a storm rolled over the Rocky Mountains and learned this from history books throughout school, when cavemen hunted dangerous animals. This internal preparation, known as the fight or flight response, is a primal and innate physiological reaction we continue to experience today. Instead of unpredictable weather patterns and aggressive lions however, we encounter the often-unwanted intruder known as anxiety.
The feeling of anxiety, although it varies by person, often involves distressing emotions of unease and worry. For many, anxiety has a debilitating impact. It causes sleepless nights, a non-existent appetite, and the inability to take action. One of anxiety’s ironies is that it frequently arises from events that haven’t yet occurred, but are perceived to be dangerous.
Psychologist, writer, and mother, Dawn Huebner, in her famous TED talk entitled ‘Rethinking Anxiety: Learning to Face Fear,’ tells the story of how her son, Eli, overcame his perception of danger. When Eli was little, he was terrified of things like splinters, shots, bees, and haircuts - basically anything sharp and pointy. At first, Eli’s parents helped their son avoid sharp and pointy things as many protective parents would do. They let his hair grow long, they stayed away from flowers in case bees were nearby, and they avoided wooded areas to evade potential splinters.
It wasn’t until Eli was 10, when the family traveled to Fort Ticonderoga, that they realized just how debilitating their son’s anxiety was. Eli took an interest in history throughout his early school years and Fort Ticonderoga was a place his parents believed would fascinate him. To prepare for their trip, Eli’s parents dressed him in closed-toed shoes, long pants, and long sleeves, so there was little risk of encountering sharp objects. After some time exploring the grounds on the sunny, 90-degree day, Eli’s parents decided to take a rest on a bench. Unfortunately for Eli, the bench was made of wood. So was the ground. And the walls. Everywhere he looked in the wooden fort was a chance for splinters. An exhausted and fearful Eli sobbed.
Our natural response, much like the cows of Colorado, is to run from our fears or simply give up and hope they never return, yet most that have experienced the draining feeling of anxiety will tell you it always returns. And often stronger than before.
Eli’s concerned parents began to intervene instead of aid in avoiding. As a Psychologist, Dawn is familiar with our never-ending inner cycle of thoughts, feelings, and action. The way we think, impacts how we feel about something, and our feelings dictate how we act. In an effort to rid her son of worry, Dawn decided to flip the script. By influencing Eli’s actions, thought behavioral awards, she was confident her son’s thoughts and feelings would begin to change, thus reinforcing his ability to act again. And again. As most parents do, Dawn resorted to bribery. She encouraged Eli to play outside by offering him things he loved, like money to buy legos. Soon, after several trips around the yard, and enough to purchase a new Lego set, Eli’s perception of danger began to diminish.
The shift in perspective by Dawn, focusing on taking action that influences thoughts and feelings, can be used by anyone to channel anxiety into a motivator for personal growth. Accompanying anxiety’s previously mentioned distressing emotions, are two qualities that can be found in some of the world’s happiest, healthiest, and wealthiest individuals: heightened focus and energy.
By successfully redirecting these newfound byproducts of anxiety into productive pursuits, our ability to complete tasks and accomplish goals improves, whereas without the presence of anxiety, we may have otherwise procrastinated and fell short of achievement.
Taking action by virtue of anxiety can help us reflect on our inner desires. Although uncomfortable at first, self-reflection provides insight about our beliefs, values, and priories in life. Once we fully understand what it is we’re looking to achieve, action steps can be taken. Do you want to be a better leader, but you’re afraid of public speaking? Present to a crowd with similar fears. Do you want to be more outgoing, but you’re afraid of social situations? Join a social club for people with similar interests and hobbies. Do you want to become a better sales person, but you’re afraid of rejection? Ask for commitment in your personal life. It may take baby steps at first, but over time, by influencing actions, the intensity of anxiety will decrease.
Don’t wish it away completely though - as you can see, a little anxiety is good.
As for Eli, he took a liking to the sport of fencing. It’s safe to say he overcame his fear of sharp and pointy objects and in fact parlayed it into a new passion.
Photo Credit:
https://neurosciencenews.com/anxiety-pessimism-expectations-22220/
https://www.sportsnhobbies.org/what-is-sport-fencing.htm