Imagine yourself surfing a 30-foot wave off the coast of Hawaii. The sun rising from the liquid horizon, causing each ripple of the ocean to glisten as the breeze blows and tide shifts. You feel the cool temperature of the water on your hands as you paddle out to sea, gliding like a leaf in the wind. Adrenaline pumping, but breaths remain calm - inhaling and exhaling as tiny droplets begin to cover your face. Sitting in what seems to be the edge of the Earth, you become one with Mother Nature. Anticipation rises as the growing swell of the perfect wave approaches. Preparation meets action as intensity increases with each rotation of your arms. You’ve never been so focused and aware as the wave begins to carry you effortlessly, like a feather floating down an endless stream. You pop up, get your feet planted and begin soaring down the glass wall at 30, 40, 50 mph. Completely in control, you ride for what seems like forever, but not long enough, in a state of tranquility until the once monstrous wave finally dissipates and recedes back to where it was first created…
More than just a saying on inspirational posters, living in the moment means not worrying about the future or mourning the past - it’s being present and focusing on the now. It’s capturing every detail and being a part of every second that ticks by. Whether you’re surfing waves, spending time with family or listening to music, being present ensures you experience life as it unfolds.
Too often, we dwell on the past and become anxious for things to come. At work, we daydream about vacation. On vacation, we worry about emails piling up in our inbox at work. We continue to regret actions from the past in fear that they will haunt us in the future. When our minds jump from thought to thought, we miss the most important experience that’s right in front of us.
Only when we leave our thoughts can we become truly present - mindful.
Don’t Think, Just Do.
I’ve always had a fear of public speaking. It started as a young kid, giving presentations in school. I never knew what to do with my hands. I wondered if I was standing like a statue or maybe I was swaying too much. What if my face turns red - will the whole class laugh? Thoughts swirled in my head like a tornado from the time the class project was assigned until it was over. I was doomed. I felt the same gut-wrenching feeling for almost 30 years - from giving speeches in school to leading team meetings at work. Even though I made it through each presentation, I continued feeling just as anxious for the next one. Until one day, I was asked a question that changed everything.
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
Such a simple question with infinite possibilities: “uhh, I could pass out!” “I could forget my lines and stand their awkwardly for 10 minutes,” “I could fall and spill coffee on myself and get 3rd degree burns” to name a few. But the previous question wasn’t the one that changed everything. It was the follow-up question that erased my public speaking fear forever:
“So What?”
I was probably asked this same question by a classmate in elementary school, but something about it finally resonated with me after a decade into my professional career. Other than the lasting effects of 3rd degree burns, “So what?” meant nothing that happened on stage during any presentation mattered. It didn’t negatively impact my self-worth or the quality of my character. I wouldn’t sit on my deathbed wondering how my life would have been different if I didn’t blush during my freshman book report on To Kill a Mockingbird.
By clearing my mind of the many what-ifs, I stopped thinking and just did. I still prepare, so I can deliver an effective speech, but I live in the moment and put my thoughts aside. To this day, I have survived every public performance.
Go with the Flow
It’s been said that time is like an accordion, expanding and contracting based on our actions in life. Sometimes minutes feel like hours and other times, hours feel like minutes. Parenthood may be the best example of this continuous give and take. Those with children that are problem sleepers during a young age can relate to the saying “the nights are long, but the years are short.”
Imagine being so immersed in an activity that you enter a state of timelessness - where time isn’t necessarily fast or slow, because it feels like it doesn’t exist at all. Psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi refers to this state as flow. Flow is the feeling of being hyper-focused and “in the zone.” It’s an exhilarating and satisfying experience where you’re firing on all cylinders to complete the task at hand successfully.
Flow is the perfect balance of skill and challenge - you have confidence in your ability to complete the task, but it takes effort, focus and talent to do so. If the activity is too much of a challenge, you may become anxious, but if not enough, you may experience boredom. Only when high skill is matched with high challenge can one experience the enjoyment of a flow state.
To enter a flow state, it’s important to choose an activity that is intrinsically motivating - the act itself is the reward. There must also be defined outcomes, traceable progress and freedom from distractions. A musician’s flow state may consist of shutting off smartphone alerts and challenging themselves to learn a new song on the saxophone by the following week. For skiers, maybe it’s working to increase their difficulty level on the slopes from blue (beginner) to red (intermediate) over the course of the winter season.
“The only moment to be alive is in the present moment.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
Mindful people form stronger relationships, are more enthusiastic and experience an increased sense of comfort. They are self-aware and accept their personal weaknesses, which reduces impulsivity and risk of depression. They understand that life is finite, which helps them take in each moment as it comes. Above all, mindful people are happy.
Take a moment to think about that.
I enjoyed this post. In addition to your thoughts on flow, I also appreciate the idea of taking risks, even tiny ones, to push yourself out of your comfort zone, like the example of public speaking. Getting comfortable with small risks gives you some tolerance for bigger risks. Good luck, keep it up!